LISA

Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.

Relax? I can't relax! Nor can I yield, relent, or... Only two synonyms? Oh my God, I'm losing my perspicacity! Aaaaa!

I'm no theologian. I don't know who or what God is. All I know is he's more powerful than Mom and Dad put together.

If cartoons were meant for adults, they'd put them on in prime time.

Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon.

He's not like anybody I've ever met. He's like a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a vest.

Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered? Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.

Homer: Oh Lisa, there's no record of a hurricane ever hitting Springfield. Lisa: Yes, but the records only go back to 1978 when the hall of records was mysteriously blown away.

Lisa: Look at the "wonders" of the computer age now. Homer: Wonders Lisa? Or blunders? Lisa: I think that was implied by what I said. Homer: Implied... Or implode?